Sgt Decepticon
by RedGyarados3
Summary: A twisted parody where the Decepticons invade Earth. More info inside.
1. Meet the Sergeant

**Sgt. Decepticon**

Meet the Sergeant

A/N: I don't own TFA or Sgt. Frog. Just like the frogs, the Decepticons are only 2 feet tall. And sadly, Megatron is just a sergeant in this story.

Keroro - Megatron

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><p>Narrator: Planet Earth, 2012. The Human race found themselves under attack by mysterious alien fleet of transforming robots. These robotic being were cruel and relentless. Trillions fled in terror, but there was know where to run. They adapted into human tachnology by transforming into the very weapons the police and military have used. Within hours of first contact mankind was brought to it's knees. Forced to surrender of eons of slavery... Wait! None of that happened. You maybe just lying to the readers? What kind of story is this?<p>

At the Hinata residence, the Hinata family lives a perfectly normal life. Except for one deception...

Megatron: Ha, ha, ha! Foolish Pekoponians. You have no idea what's in store for you long-legged, fleshy, pathetic race. Bow down to superior stubbiness to your new king! (Megatron [only 2 ft tall] emerges from the living room while riding a vacuum) All hail Sgt. Megatron! The ferocity! The power! You may have taken my greatest weapon, ape creatures, but now I have yours! Soon your planet will be conquered and free of this dust.

Narrator: A two foot alien robot riding a Hoover... That kind of story. Got it.

Megatron steers the vacuum down the hall and gets the nasal stuck onto something. He looks up and see he got it stuck to a pink-haired girl, Natsumi Hinata's school skirt.

Natsumi: AHH! (she drops the groceries and tries to pull her skirt off the vacuum)

Megatron: Surrender your world and turn in the Matrix of Destruction!

Natsumi: I don't have time for your dumb games!

Megatron: Wait... no I am serious here. You fear me!

Natsumi: You can't conquer us, okay?

Megatron: What? But I have to. It's my only reason for existence.

Natsumi: Well you won't exist much longer if you don't turn that off! (she kicks the vacuum, sending it and Megatron in the air) Seroiusly! Other girls don't have to deal with this.

Natsumi continued to hit the vacuum. Trying to hit the switch, but Megatron is confused.

Megatron (thinking): What's wrong with her? Why won't she accept defeat and slavery with grace?

Outside the house a blue haired boy can hear the commotion.

Fuyuki: Oh, no. Sounds like the Serge is in trouble. (he rushes into the house)

Narrator: Okay, I've been flipping through the author's notes here, so I'll try to explain. Uh, apparently this kid's name is Fuyuki and he has this "Matrix of Destruction." The opposite force of the Matrix of Leadership... Sorry, I'm an old man, who don't know what you young people are read now.

He runs into the house and into the living room. Where the fight is at. Fuyuki pull out a black, and gold metallic relic with a red glow in the core of it.

Fuyuki: I'll save you!

He lifts the Matrix of Destruction and released a red bolt of lightning. It stuck Megatron with 10,000,000 volts. Charcoal and dust outlined the Decepticon's body as he collapsed.

Fuyuki: Sorry. I'm still learning this thing. (Natsumi pokes Megatron's head) I meant to think 'Instant Transport', but I thought of 'Instant Death-shock' for some reason... sorry.

Megatron: Yeah, buddy boy you're gonna have to be more careful with that. The Matrix of Destruction can destroy your planet with just the thought of it. Usually you have to think of 'Dance Party', I don't know why, though.

Megatron recovers and wipes the dust and charcol off him. He hops on the sofa.

Megatron: So in the interest of Public Safety. I'm thinking you should just go ahead and give it back to me.

Natsumi: As if we give you weapons, when you just tried to enslave me with a vacuum. If it were my call you'd be sold to Ripley's by now. Have you even used your fusion cannon _[fusion cannon needs the Matrix of Destrution as an energy source]_ to clean the bath tub like I told you to? _[now it's used as a water hose]_ Because lazy robots do not get dinner!

Megatron: Dinner? You mean I can have more of your human oil?

Natsumi: (chuckles) Yep, you get to have #6 fuel oil.

Megatron: Yahoo! #6! #6! #6! Victory wiggle! I'll make your bath tub reek of bleach and pride, sir!

Outside the kid's mother arrives on her motorcycle.

Aki: I wonder how our Decepticon is doing. (she leaves the bike at the side of the house, then entered the house) Kids, I'm home.

Natsumi: In the kitchen, Mom. I thought you had to work late tonight?

Aki: Yeah, the artist says he draws faster in his underwear and I didn't want to stay for that. (she enters the kitchen) Ooh, something smells good.

Natsumi: Yeah, I didn't burn it this time.

She hugs her daughter for accomplishment.

Aki: I have got great news to tell you.

Natsumi: Cool. well, what is it?

_A few moments..._

Natsumi: What?

Megatron: My own room? Are you freakin' serious?

Natsumi: You can't do that! Mom, so not fair!

Aki: Why not? I mean he is part of the family isn't he?

Natsumi: No, he's not! He's a space invader who totally sucks at his job.

Aki: What's the big deal? We have an extra room.

Fuyuki: What do you mean? Are you talking about the coat closet?

Megatron: Please, somebody gently pinch me. This is a dream. Because private quarters means status and tinkling with the door open so you can watch TV! And without Pekoponians looking over my shoulder I can plan secret ways to overthrow them and continue with the Decepticon invasion. A front-line base, suckers! Don't worry, once I get settled I'll invite you all to the celebratory room party. I'll have Energon cubes and oil mix. Super jealous aren't you?

WHACK! Natsumi plants her foot on Megatron's face and crushes him into the wall.

Natsumi: If this is what Mom wants, then I can't stop it. But I will crush you if you try any of your dumb schemes in there.

Megatron: Who, me?

Aki opens a cupboard door underneath the staircase. Then she opened a compartment door on the floor.

Aki: It's down here. It use to be a bomb shelter, I think.

She climb down the latter. Then she flipped the light on.

Aki: Or a super villain hideout.

Fuyuki: How come I never knew about this?

Aki: It's only the first chapter, dear.

Natsumi: All I'm saying is that this not be bigger than my room.

Megatron: Can't wait. Can't wait.

He runs to the door.

Megatron: Let me see. Let me see.

He opens the door. He enters a dark room full of boxes.

Megatron: Uh, what's with all this crap in my room?

Aki: I knew you'd love it. I want you to renovate it how ever you'd like. Anything that won't cost me money. Make it look exactly like your alien world with laser beds or hover chairs or whatever. Something so exotic that it would inspire any writer who saw it... hypothetically.

Natsumi & Fuyuki: That's what she's up to.

Narrator: I can help here, I think. The mother, Aki, is a comic book writer and wants to exploit this alien robot for story ideas. Hm, good plan.

Megatron: The air down here is so smoggy. Just like a Cybertronian health spa!

The kids enter the room and pick up a domineering feeling.

Fuyuki: Although I'm kind of getting a creepy feeling in here.

Aki: Oh, don't be silly.

Natsumi: (gasps) He's right, because my shoulders feel so heavy. I'm freaking out.

Aki: Well, let's give him some privacy, alrighty?

Once Aki and Natsumi left, Megatron realized something.

Megatron: Psst, buddy. You think you might give me back my Matrix of Destruction?

Fuyuki: Um...

Megatron: It's not for anything diabolical, of course. I just stored some cool stuff in there.

Fuyuki: Well, I guess, but you can't tell my sister, okay? And you promise you'll behave?

Megatron: I cross my very spark.

He gave him his Matrix back and left him alone in the room.

Megatron: Ha, ha, ha. The key to this world's undoing is mine again. Bad move, my Pekoponian friend. We Decepticons are the masters of deception. The Matrix of Destruction recharged itself earlier this morning. That should be plenty of Energon to enslave you all. I'm so smart... oh, no! If I enslave the world, the Matrix won't have enough Energon to fix my room for at least a week. Aw, man. Tough call.

There was a mournful cry heard in his room. Back in the living room, Aki sheds some light on the room.

Aki: So you see, kids. It's really no big deal. I never told you about the room, 'cause it's haunted by a crazed, psychotic ghost girl. That's all.

Fuyuki: Say what?

Aki: Our house was built over a futile prison. Which was built over a cemetery. Which was built over a dark cavern which may lead to the underworld. Some junk like that. Anyway an innocent girl was imprisoned down there. Yaddi-yadda.

Natsumi: "Yaddi-yadda?"

Aki: Yeah. Supposedly she haunts the room and is bound to torment any human soul whoever tries to live down there. Yeah, it really worked out for me. Because no one wanted the house, so I got a great deal on it. Plus we've combined a ghost with a robot alien. Can you imagine the story I'll get from that!

Fuyuki: Whoa, it's haunted? That explains the weird feeling. Wait, if that's true...? Megatron!

He runs back to the room. The rest of the family chases after him.

Fuyuki: She could torment alien robots too. (he slips while climbing down the latter) Seriously, Mom. this is bad hosting etiquette. (he couldn't open the door) It's stuck! What do we do now? We can loose him forever.

Aki: No, I need him for ideas.

Natsumi: And chores.

The three grab onto the door knob firmly.

Aki: Ready? One... two...

On the moment she said three they pulled on the door and pulled the door open. The force caused them to fall back when the recovered the were stunned to what they saw in the room. It was clean, one side with cool electronic, the other side with a big couch, and above a big fan. Megatron sat in the center of the room listening to some tunes on his computer.

Megatron: What's up with you guys? I was just making a mix tape on theme of Karaoke You'll Regret.

Natsumi: Uh, what happened to the creepy basement?

Fuyuki: Total bachelor pad.

Aki: This isn't an alien-ghost lair at all.

Natsumi: Did you rob a cheap Swedish furniture store?

Megatron: (holding the Matrix) Making all this stuff was a synch using the Matrix of Destruction.

Natsumi: How did you get that?

Megatron: As promised, your slavery freed. (he hands Fuyuki the Matrix)

Natsumi: You gave him his weapon?

Fuyuki: What? We're all still alive aren't we?

Natsumi: (thinking) Luckily we're dealing with the stupidest alien conquerer ever.

Megatron: You're reflecting on my geniuses as a home decorator, aren't you? What's that, you wish I'd do your room too? You... can't... help, but be... jealous.

Natsumi: (thinking) Yeah, um, so not jealous.

Narrator: Yes she is. Horribly, painfully, so screamingly jealous.

Natsumi: Stop reading my thoughts.

Megatron: For a city dweller to live in comfort, web searching and Email are a must and boom boxes are lame for listening to CDs, so I had to get the full volume systems. How else am I gonna listen to Sgt. Keroro's awesome ending credit song. Seriously you got to go LCD or you got to go and no less than twenty mega-hurts. Am I right? Ha, ha, ha. Yes, this is the life, kids! This is the life!

Suddenly the Ghost Girl appeared from behind him and it's scaring Natsumi and Aki.

Megatron: What? Has my superiority scared you?

They both run out of the room.

Megatron: (running after them) Don't run. I can help you to deal with it! You just need to shadow your own self-esteem...!

The Ghost Girl follows him. Leaving Fuyuki alone in the room. He's surprisingly happy.

Fuyuki: I'm a paranormal magnet. Oh, yeah!

Narrator: There you have it. A typical night at the Hinata home, but if you're like this narrator... you're wondering how they got a robot alien in the first place. Here comes the flashback chapter.


	2. The Chapter That Should've Come first

**Sgt. Decepticon**

The Chapter That Should've Come first

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><p>Narrator: Planet Earth, 2012. The Human race found themselves under attack by mysterious alien fleet of transforming robots... okay, honestly you want me to read this whole shpeal again? I mean if we are gonna start on a new chapter we should at least be giving you readers something new.<p>

Fuyuki and Natsumi run away from the robot invasion. Suddenly a bomb was dropped and the explosion caused her to fall on the pavement.

Fuyuki: (looks back at her) Natsumi!

Natsumi: I think it's to late for me. Just save yourself, okay?

Fuyuki: No way. (gasp)

A two foot helicopter swopped in and transformed into a two foot robot. Even though he was two feet, his fusion cannon along with the device attached to it looked threatening enough.

Natsumi: Go. Just go.

Decepticon: You've been robotinized. (fires fusion cannon at Natusmi)

Natsumi: AAHHHH!

Fuyuki: (apparently was dreaming) No! No, Natsumi, don't die! I need you! If you get zapped, who's gonna wake me up every morning? (she place the ringing alarm clock to his ear, waking him up) Hey, you're still here. You're not blown up.

Natsumi: Wake up, freak boy. We don't have time for your silly dreams.

Fuyuki: Silly? These aren't silly dreams! These are important messages from an conquering alien race who have chosen me to save mankind from the same fate! So, if you'll excuse me! I'm gonna do my job and listen! (covers himself in the bead sheets) Five more minutes.

Natsumi: Ugh. Well, I guess I'm just gonna have to use the one trick that works every time. (she points to the wall) Oh, crud, look! It's a real alien. And it's super ugly!

Fuyuki: Alien? Where? Where?

Natsumi: Got ya. (blows raspberry) How do you fall for that every time? Aren't geeks like brainy?

Megatrom: (quietly) Oh, no.

It wasn't quiet, because the kids looked back and saw a wallpaper falling. Revealing Megatron.

Natsumi: (gasps) No way. (squeakily) That's crazy.

Megatron: (thinking) She saw right through it. My camo wallpaper. (talking) But how? It's perfectly color matched.

Fuyuki & Natsumi: Whoa, it talks too?

Megatron: (sinisterly) Now I destroy. (he aims his fusion cannon at them)

Fuyuki: Watch out!

His first instinct is to save his sister. So he pushes her, but she end up collapsing on top of Megatron. Causing him to loose grip of the Matrix of Destruction.

Narrator: 1,000 seconds later.

They roped Megatron down and hanged him from the ceiling.

Natsumi: So, what is it?

Fuyuki: Space alien, obviously.

Natsumi: Then how dose it know what we're saying? Are you an alien or some toddler wearing a lot of tin foil?

Megatron: Kid alien? That's ridiculous. I'm just a normal Pekoponian robot that talks, because of Ipod's new series they're releasing. (he stares swinging side to side) And maybe a dragon or a magical, hypnotic pendulum of a clock. Invade your planet? that's just crazy...

Natsumi: No, can't be a toddler. It's not smart enough.

Megatron: (gasps)

Natsumi: Anyway, we should keep him tied up like this until we get back from school.

Fuyuki: Okay.

Natsumi: Hold on. What time is it?

Fuyuki & Natsumi: No. Are we late?

Narrator: Way late.

They rush down the stairs and put on their shoes

Natsumi: I can't get D-halled. There are like no cute boys in D-halled.

Fuyuki: Yeah, just big ones and they always beat me up.

They left the house leaving Megatron alone.

Megatron: Ha, ha, ha. You should appreciate my spectacularity. (he strains himself to break loose) Ah! Rope loosening power! (he got himself free) Heh, heh. Your planet will soon be mine. Ugh... (he accidently 'hung himself by the neck, he wheezes, then the rope snapped) Oh, scrap. (he falls to the floor) You may have gotten lucky against me, but wait until I light the beacon. The Decepticon invasion will not feel comfortable.

Narrator: Unlike the Terricloth invasion of 2042 which will actually feel quite luxurious. Just saying.

At school, Fuyuki took the Matrix of Destruction with him. He went to the roof during lunch to check it out.

Fuyuki: Oh, man. Can this really be an alien energy source to power up the weapon to that alien? How dose it work? It looks safe enough.

Then at that moment he thought of an energy blast. Next, the Matrix launched beam of red energy and destroyed a empty soda can that laid 15 yards away from him.

Fuyuki: Aw, heck yeah. So it carries out orders through thought. (he thought of 'Levitation', causing him to be lifted a feet, but lost control and fell) Lets see, what else. (he thought of 'Home', then the Matrix went bezerk) No, shut up! I'll destroy you! Shut up! (he smashes the Matrix to the floor, then it went dead) Oh, I wonder what that did.

Up in Earth's orbit, the Decepticon armada received a transmission from the Matrix of Destruction.

In Natsumi's classroom, she gets ready to leave.

Natsumi: Gotta get home and crush that robot into scrap metal.

Suddenly one of her classmates, Satsuki Shiwasu, hugged her.

Satsuki: Hey, don't you wanna join the b-ball team?

Natsumi: Not really. Group showers weird me out.

Another classmate, Yayoi Shimotsuki

Yayoi: But you're tall and strong and wicked athletic. I can so see why Satsuki wants you.

Natsumi: Clarify that.

Satsuki: If you play, sports will get cool and others will sign up too.

Natsumi: I have chores at home. So, no time. Sorry.

Yayoi: How sad. Is there no time for love either?

Natsumi: Oh, please. As if there's anyone here.

Satsuki: (tearfully) OMG, you're such a heart breaker.

Natsumi: Yeah, so I gotta go now, but I can IM you guys later.

Yayoi: See ya.

Satsuki: Bye.

On her way home, she thought of what Megatron could have been doing while she was gone.

Natsumi: (thinking) Eww. What if he got alien oil on the floor? (she stopped and blushed at the sight of a teenage boy laying on a bench in the park) Looks like Saburo cut classes again. What a rebel.

Then Yayoi's words came in mind. _"Is there no time for love either?"_ Saburo looked his way at Natsumi, causing her to blush more. When he smiled at her, she ran off.

Narrator: Natsumi's crushing on that boy like a squirrel crushed on by a steam roller.

Natsumi: (thinking) Don't advertise it! AH!

Once she was home she quietly entered. She took one step then a rope strapped her by the foot and hung her upside down.

Natsumi: What the? AH!

Megatron: Ha, ha, ha. The tables have now been turned. Give me back my Matrix of Destruction, Pekoponian.

Natsumi: Matrix of What Now?

Megatron: Don't play dumb! (he jumps on her knee) Trust me. You will not like Cybertronian torture.

Natsumi: (gasps) What are you gonna do to me?

Megatron: Don't ask me. You should ask Scrappy the Scraplet. (he pulls out and orb, then pressed a button and it transformed into a robotic bug with sharp teeth) Scrappy enjoys devouring metal, but does have a nasty habit for devouring calcium made bones. Such as yours.

Natsumi: I don't have your stupid Matrix!

Megatron jumped and activated his rocket feet. He brought Scrappy close to Natsumi's face. Scrappy opened his sharp-teeth infested mouth.

Megatron: Too bad for you.

Suddenly multiple red fists attack Megatron and knocked him out of the air. A red spiked wrecking ball destroyed Scrappy. Fuyuki levitated down the staircase.

Fuyuki: Wow. Thinking of the Fists of the North Star is pretty handy or was that Bruce Lee.

Natsumi: You're not worthless.

Fuyuki: This thing rocks. (holding the Matrix) It can do anything with just the thought of it. I floated all the way from school.

Natsumi: Glad to know you're having fun.

Fuyuki: The Matrix works depending on how hard think of what you want to do with it. I'm still figuring out how to open it.

He helps free his sister. She falls and lands on her head.

Natsumi: (angrily) Figure out how to not drop me on my head.

Fuyuki: Sorry.

Megatron recovered and threw two stasis whips around them. He swiftly snatches the Matrix.

Megatron: Ha, ha, ha. Now that I've reclaimed the Matrix of Destruction your species will soon be crushed like that old lady in the Bonkers commercial.

Fuyuki: Huh?

Natsumi: How does a advanced alien robot make outdated pop culture references

Megatron: Satellite TV! We, Decepticons intercepted your satellites and studied Pekopon for years. Learning how to infiltrate and conquer. That's why my home planet, Cybertron. Sent me, Sgt. Megatron, baby!

Fuyuki: & Natsumi: Sergeant? Honestly?

Megatron: I have come with four others of the **A**dvanced **R**econ **M**ission **P**reparatory **I**nvasion **T**error platoon. Who's acronym is unfortunate. Once we're all in position, confirmed and safe for the main force to land your domination will be complete.

There was a revving of a motorcycle outside.

Natsumi: (cheerfully) Mom's home.

Fuyuki: You better run. My Mom hates robots.

Megatron: I don't care of what your giver of birth is like. A good Decepticon never runs from anything.

Natsumi: That a great plan as long as you don't mind becoming an engine block.

Megatron: (gasps) An engine block?

Fuyuki: That might be an exaggeration, though she did give me new batteries when my remote helicopter went missing.

Natsumi: Ever heard of 'Bot-baseball? I'm sure she's a fan.

Megatron: (gasps) 'Bot-baseball?

Fuyuki: Oh, come on. She's not that cruel. She might dismantle you apart and sell you for scrap.

Megatron: Dismantlement? No! I can't be afraid! The success of this invasion depends on my courage and valor... and once I attach this Matrix to my fusion cannon... (plugs Matrix to fusion cannon) I can just blast her head off.

Natsumi: No! You leave her alone!

Fuyuki: It does that?

Megatron: Yeah, it does. When you attach the Matrix of Destruction to any weapon, it act's like a battery. You don't enven need to think about firing. It shoot with just the pull of the trigger.

Fuyuki: No way.

Natsumi: Why do you care? Can we focus? Mom, don't open the door!

Fuyuki: Yeah! Your head's in danger.

Outside she hears them yelling.

Aki: What are they trying to keep from me. They better have not gotten another stupid pet again. (opens the door) How many times do I have to...

She froze in surprise with the sight she saw. A two foot robot.

Megatron: Fusion... (reactivates rocket feet)

Narrator: Fusion...

Megatron: cannon... (aims the fusion cannon at Aki)

Narrator: cannon...

Megatron: blatsin' the head time!

Narrator: blastin' the head time! (Megatron presses the trigger on his fusion cannon, but the thing went dead)

Megatron: Out of juice? Uh... hi?

Aki grabbed Megatron. He shut down his rocket feet and trembled if she will crush him with her bare hands.

Fuyuki: We're sorry, Mom. I'll get rid of him. I swear. Just don't dismantle him or sell him to the scrap yard. He's not just a robot. He's a space alien and I think he's hear for a reason, I do. I think he could be my friend.

Megatron: Friend? With a Decepticon like me?

Fuyuki: Well, sure. I don't have any real friends. So, yeah, why not?

Megatron: Oh, wow.

Aki hugged Megatron. Squeezing his head between her boobs.

Aki: (cheerfully) He's perfect! I can model our next comic character for the magazine after him. It's so mush easier than being original. Promise me you're going to stay with us.

Megatron: (muffled) You won't dismantle me?

Aki: No. Not any time soon at least. Talk about a waste.

Natsumi: Say what? Your kidding me, right?

Fuyuki: Whoa, Mom. Thank you.

Megatron freed himself from Aki's embrace and flew via rocket feet.

Megatron: My friend!

Fuyuki: Bestest friends!

Megatron: Forever!

Then he kicked Fuyuki on the back of the head and landed on top of him when he fell.

Megatron: Right after I conquer your whole planet and enslave your species, okay?

Fuyuki: That's not what bestest friends do.

Megatron: Yeah, well... as a Decepticon that would make some complications.

Natsumi: Lets dismantle him.

Megatron: I will return to the mother ship until the Matrix of Destruction Energon core is recharged. I will do a happy spin dance. (spinning in a circle) Then I'll light the invasion beacon and pwn you people. (the Matrix began to ring) Hold on a nanoclick, I got a voicemail.

Blitzwing: (icy face) Admiral Blitzwing to ARMPIT Platoon. Blitzwing to ARMPIT. Earlier SOS has been analyzed. Matrix of Destruction in enemy hands. Invasion to dangerous. Fleet will exit Pekoponian sector. Rescue impossible. (switches to hothead face) Battle bravely, fellow Decepticons! (switches to random nutcase face) Oh! If you survive. Please save us some of that Pekoponian candy with the chewy center inside, so we can dip it in Energon. Peace out!

A puff a black smoke blew at Megatron's face.

Fuyuki: So they left?

Natsumi: What kind of candy did you think they were talking about?

Megatron: (sadly) So I should sleep where?

Narrator: And so, all mysteries have been explained. Except the Matrix of Destruction. If the core's out of Energon then how did it get the voicemail? What? 'Don't ask question'? But I'm the narrator!


	3. Bag of Secrets

**Sgt. Decepticon**

Bag of Secrets

Tamama - Starscream

Giroro - Shockwave

Kululu - Soundwave

All Decepticons are from the Animated series.

* * *

><p>Narrator: It is man's nature to harbor secrets. Secret loves, secret Santas, secret sauce that is mostly just miracle whip, french dressing, and with relish.<p>

A light blue haired girl name Momoka Nishizawa heads for her school while holding a pink bag. Which constantly moved.

Narrator: She keeps here secret in a lovely pink bag.

Momoka: (thinking) Once I show him this, he have to like me or hate me. I'm not sure.

Meanwhile at the Hinata house, Megatron is vacuuming and whistling the Transformers theme song. Fuyuki runs into the kitchen and grabbed for a toast of bread.

Fuyuki: Oh, man. I'm gonna be late again.

Megatron: Good morning, sir. How did you sleep?

Fuyuki: I dreamt I was cool.

Megatron: This school you're always late for. Do you have to go to it every day?

Fuyuki: Well, yeah. I hate my classes, but it's a good place to try to make friends.

Megatron: (thinking) Friends? Comrades? Fellow planet crushers. (talking) Ha! I've been so distracted by my love of vacuuming, I forgot my mission. I have to get the platoon together immediately.

He takes off while carry the vacuum hose. As he ran he got ahold of something. He looked and saw that it was stuck to Natsumi's school skirt.

Natsumi: Great. This is going to be a running back, isn't it?

Megatron: Sorry, but I can't control it's sucking power. This disposable bag dust technology is just too brilliant.

At that moment, she stomped on his head.

Fuyuki: Hold on. Where were you going just now, Megatron?

Natsumi: Please don't tell me you were planning to leave this house, Mega-idiot.

Megatron: Of course I was. The ARMPIT platoon will assemble and destroy you all.

Nastumi stomped on him again.

Natsumi: When are you going to learn that threatening six billion people who are three times your size isn't the smartest idea.

Fuyuki: Terrible things could happen to you out there. Experiments, maybe a scrap yard...

Natsumi: Or a big bicycle tire.

Narrator: Robot dismantlement, robot meltdown, robot in Natsumi's way.

Megatron lead out a scream of fear. Just by thinking about getting run over by Natsumi while she rode her bike.

Natsumi: So if you want to avoid that, you'll stay here.

Fuyuki: Hey, we're still late for school.

Natsumi: Again? Can't the Narrator warn us?

Narrator: Not my job.

Once they left, Megatron sat on the couch. Goofing off. Drinking oil and building Gundam models

Megatron: Well I did give it the old college try, but I have no choice. I mean I can't risk my own life out there. It wouldn't be much of a platoon if it had a dead leader, right?

Starscream: But if you don't act, we won't be a platoon at all.

Shockwave: The coward has failed! Mutiny!

Soundwave: Acknowledged. Let's replace him.

Narrator: I'll do it!

Megatron: (gasp) Oh, my gosh. I almost betrayed the trust of my troops and more importantly I almost lost my job as commander. Phew, that was close. Let the grand mission continue!

He rush down stairs and began typing on his computer. The Ghost Girl appeared again trying to scare him, but he was too busy talking to himself.

Megatron: I'll create a search radius around our drop zone. Then search the area in a zig-zag pattern using Fuyuki's school as an anchor point for completely no reason. Thank you, Google Maps! Ha, ha, ha.

He stopped at the front yard of the house.

Megatron: Deceptico... right. It's just me. I, transform and rise up!

He transformed into an Ospray helicopter, but since he's two feet in robot mode he looks like a remote control toy. He flew to the school gates. He landed and transformed back to his robotic form.

Megatron: Sweet.

Narrator: Meanwhile, inside, Natsumi is kicking tail at volleyball. A sport she didn't care about unless hunky, rebellious boys were watching.

Megatron ran past her and transformed into a grey and burgundy ball with a Decepticon symbol on the center. He hid himself in basket full of volleyballs. When he past Natsumi, she had a sudden chill. She looked at the basket, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

Natsumi: What was that chill? Am I nervous? How could I be nervous when I don't care?

P.E. Teacher: Great job, girls. Now this time, remember to picture the head of the teacher you hate most on the ball.

Natsumi picked up the ball that Megatron transformed himself into.

Megatron: Oh, scrap.

When she served the ball felt heavy. Causing him ricochet all over the gym. Natsumi looked at her then felt a pain on it. The ball did feel heavier than others. When Megatron stopped bounding, he rolled out of a low window and transformed back to his robotic form.

Megatron: So that's the way they treat their intruders. It's true. Their species is out to get me. Fuyuki? Where are you? help me. They're gonna take my spark! I need my spark!

Meanwhile, Fuyuki was getting ready for his club. He wrote 'Paranormal Club' on the board in Japanese.

Fuyuki: There. The angora meeting of the Paranormal Club is officially in session. Thank you all... for throwing my invite flyers down the urinal trough.

There was absolutely no one there.

Fuyuki: So Charles Mansion gets a commune and I get squat. That's fair.

He heard a voice from outside. He went to the window.

Megatron: Fuyuki, where are you?

Fuyuki: It's Megatron! But I told him it's not safe here.

Momoka: (thinking) Oh, Fuyuki. My Romeo, my hottie with a body. (she gasps when he heads for the door) Oh, no. He's leaving! I've been waited all morning for this chance, but how can I possibly get his attention.

Narrator: Say 'hello', perhaps?

Nope. Instead she threw the bag at him and ran into him. When they came to, she was laying on top of him.

Fuyuki: Momoka? Sorry. Was that my fault?

She noticed she was touching his hand.

Momoka: (thinking) It work! I'm touching him! I'm totally touching his hand! We're gonna have babies! (talking) Can we name out first two kids Bobby?

Fuyuki: Sorry. I've gotta go.

Momoka: Wait! Talk yo me!

Fuyuki: Why?

Narrator: Tell him. The moment is right. The scene is fitting.

Momoka: (thinking) Okay I'll do it. I'll confess my love. (talking) Because I... have to... tell you... or ask you... or just... anxiety.

Fuyuki: Huh?

Momoka: DO YOU BELIEVE IN SPIRIT PLACES PARALLEL TO OURS?

Fuyuki: Um, yeah. Well I don't think we can rule them out.

Momoka: Me neither. The explanations and skeptics just don't account for strong similarities and spectral calendars... (thinking) Ah. What are you blabbing about? You're ruining your one chance.

Fuyuki: You think so too? That's awesome. You should join my Paranormal Club. It's just like student counsel, but not lame. Here for you. (he hands her a pin)

Momoka: (takes the pin) You made this?

Fuyuki: Yeah. It's our insignia. See how you can wear it just like a pin?

Momoka: (thinking) Matching pins. He really does want us to grow old together.

Fuyuki: Okay, see you.

Momoka: Wait!

Fuyuki: What's up?

Momoka: (thinking) Seal the deal! Think of our future, now! (talking) It's just that's not the only reason why I wanted to talk to you. For the longest time I... I... I... I felt... (an engine backfire) stinky. Huh? That isn't what I meant to say! Nothing's stinky! I mean that's totally an oily stink, but I'm not stinky! I mean I have very good bowl movements! I mean I'm not gassy, but if I was you wouldn't know! I don't know why I'm telling you that, but I eat a lot of vegetable instead of meat. oh, God! I'm still talking about it. I mean I just fart all the time and it doesn't smell like oil most of the time... I've gotta go.

Momoka took off down the hall running.

Fuyuki: Wow, she's weird, but at least she's talking to me.

Momoka: (thinking) Oh, God! He hates me! I know it. He thinks I farted. He probably didn't even know girls did that, but I didn't do that. Why did I bring this robot to school? It was suppose to make him think I was fascinating.

She hid behind the trees and began to cry. The bag shook violently. A wing popped out then a head.

Narrator: New character alert!

Jumping out of the bag was another Decepticon. His name is Starscream.

Starscream: Ah, that's better. I drank oil all morning and it was getting to be a real dead dump in there. Oh! Have I not told you how digestively talented I am? You see, the average Cybertronian backfire or fart measures 9,500 point cokey. Which is pretty high on the Galactic Scale, but mine are a hundred times stronger at 50,000 point cokey. My mother says i got it from her, but I say it's a required skill. Is your mother a fart person?

At that moment, Momoka snapped.

Momoka: (angrily) I'LL KILL YOU!

She strapped him to a tree and brought a basket full of balls.

Momoka: (innocently) Oh, my love. We could've been great. If only I weren't so shy.

Starscream: I'll pay you off! I have lots of sugar-coated Energon!

Momoka: (angrily) But I resorted to bringing you here... AND YOU RUINED ME!

She threw the ball at him, but it miss and bounced right back to. Making her more angry and throw even more balls.

Momoka: I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

Starscream: NO! Help me!

Meanwhile, Megatron cowers at the school fence. Holding tree branches.

Megatron: Be the tree. Be the tree. The tree.

Fuyuki: Megatron!

Megatron: AH! (jumps and holds onto the fence) Come on. Don't you know I leak lubricant in self defense.

Fuyuki: Megatron, it's me. Come down here.

Megatron: Oh, Fuyuki. Buddy old pal. Take me home. I'll never find my squad again. I accept my failure.

Suddenly the Matrix of Destruction glowed and levitated out of Fuyuki's pocket. Megatron jumped down and grabbed it.

Megatron: Sweet Mother of Unircon. It's an SOS. Which means on of my compadres must be close. Forget everything I said.

They both eventually find Momoka and Starscream. They watched from the bushes.

Starscream: No! Please, stop throwing balls at me!

Megatron: Oh, it's Starscream.

Fuyuki: Momoka?

Momoka: This is how you thank the girl from saving you from being buried by a dog who thought you were an action figure?

Starscream: Hey! it's not my fault I'm the most attractive Decepticon in the story.

Momoka: I'll torture you until you go crazy like me!

Megatron: Torture? Crazy? Oh, no!

Starscream's mouth began to transform into a cannon. Momoka grabbed the last ball.

Momoka: Say, 'goodbye'!

Megatron: Rescue time. (jumps out of the bushes and loads the Matrix into his fusion cannon) Setting to stun.

Fuyuki: No, wait. Don't hurt her.

Megatron: Firing stun blaster!

Narrator: I thought it was a fusion cannon in stun mode.

Megatron fired once at Momoka, but she was only dizzy. He fire a couple more shots and then she collapsed.

Fuyuki: How could you?

Megatron: Starscream! You're safe. Relax.

Starscream's mouth retransformed back to normal.

Starscream: (tearfully) Megatron, it's you.

Megatron: Did you see how cool I was?

Starscream: Heck yeah. Cool as ever.

Fuyuki: I got you. (he helps Momoka up) That was not nice. You could've killed the only member of my club.

Megatron: No. You don't understand at all. That angry girl was the one I was rescuing home slice. Just trust me. You don't want to push Starscream past his breaking point.

A little bug landed on Starscream face.

Narrator: There it goes.

Starscream: Leave me alone!

His mouth transformed into a cannon and incinerated the bug. The blast was massive and terrifying. It also freed him from being tied to the tree. He let out a crazy growl.

Megatron: That's kinda why we bring him along. Sure he stinks up our spaceship with his backfires, but he's great and a bind. By the way, Starscream, this is Fuyuki. I stay at his pad and drink a lot of Earth oil.

Starscream: Oh, sounds heavenly. Do you watch TV, too?

Megatron: Twelve hours a day.

Momoka finally came to.

Fuyuki: Are you alright?

Momoka: Why do I feel a shock down my spine?

Fuyuki: No idea, but that's awesome you found a Decepticon too.

Megatron: Let me formally introduce you to my platoon mate and most tireless yes man, Private-Second Class Starscream.

Starscream: Here to agree, sir.

Momoka: Yea! I selfishly used you after all.

Starscream: And now I can backfire all the time and you're not going to care?

Momoka: Sure. Why not?

Starscream: Yea!

After school they went to Fuyuki's house. Megatron and Fuyuki said goodbye to Starscream and Momoka.

Starsceam: Sir, requesting to stay with Momoka other than occasional slumber parties, sir.

Megatron: Hm, a false stasis lock. It will bring down the Pekoponians into a false sense of security before we conquer them. Brilliant. Granted.

Starscream hopped in Momoka's bag. He waved at them.

Starscream: We'll come by tomorrow, okay?

Momoka: See you then.

Megatron: Don't tell her about our planet crushing plans!

As Momoka walked for home, she held out the club pin.

Momoka: (thinking) I can't believe I'm gonna wear his pin. It's like holding hands without the terrifying psychical contact.

Another bug flew and anded on Starscream putting past his breaking point.

Starscream: GET OFF OF ME!

This time he used his null-ray cannons on his arms. He wildly fired and accidentally destroyed the pin. pushing Momoka past her breaking point. She slammed the bag to the pavement.

Momoka: YOU IDIOT!

Narrator: Well that's a temperamental pair. I don't have to sleep at their place do I?


	4. Oily Cow Flesh of Love

**Sgt. Decepticon**

Oily Cow Flesh of Love

* * *

><p>Narrator: The day was new. The sun was shining. And one socially awkward girl was at the Hinata's front gate as promised.<p>

Momoka: (thinking) Last time I messed up everything and nearly scared off Fuyuki forever. But this time I'll do it right. I won't freak him out at all.

Narrator: Uh, oh.

Momoka: Yeah. I'll just kiss him as soon as I see him and then we'll marry.

In her fantasy, she sees her and Fuyuki running away together.

Momoka: We kissed.

Fuyuki: Yes. Let's elope.

Momoka: (hands him a fast-food bag) Here's my heart. I put it in this bag so it won't leak.

Fuyuki: Yeah! I shall love your heart. And I shall keep it in the fridge.

Meanwhile, in reality, Momoka goes through a series of air kissing. Thirty minutes later and she's still at the front gate air kissing.

Natsumi: You can't be here to see Fuyuki.

Momoka: (thinking) Who's this chick? All competition must be destroyed.

Starscream: (popping his head out of the bag) Hey, are we there yet? (notices Natsumi) AH! (hides in the bag)

Natsumi: Relax. I've heard all about the two of you. So are you guys like color coded? 'Cause my Mom says that would be like great for merchandising.

Momoka: Wait. You must be Fuyuki's sister.

Natsumi: Yeah. I'm Natsumi. I'm awesome.

Momoka: Hey, I'm awesome too. I know, because I ordered Paul to tell me.

Natsumi: Oh, is Paul a wimpy classmate? I do that too. (they enter the house) Bro, come out of your nerd hole. You've got a visitor and she's cute. I mean way more than you deserve.

Momoka: (thinking) WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I DON'T CARE IF SHE IS HIS SISTER! NO ONE TRASH TALKS MY BELOVED!

Natsumi: Bring robo-tard. His friend's here too.

Starscream: (thinking) She did not justy call my esteemed, handsome, heroic, eccentric sergeant a robo-tard!

Both Momoka and Starscream had a crazed look as if they were going to kill. They calmed down at the sound of Fuyuki's voice.

Fuyuki: I'm in the kitchen! (enters the hallway) Megatron and I have a little surprise for you guys.

Momoka: (thinking) He's wearing an apron. He's so sensitive!

Starscream: Hi, Megatron's cohabiter.

Fuyuki walks up to Momoka. Making her blush.

Momoka: Great to see you. You can lean in if you want to. (quietly) Heart. Sack. (air kisses)

Fuyki: I have no idea what that means, but I'm glad that you made it to this meeting on normalizing human/alien relations. We got lots to discuss.

Momoka: Yeah. (thinking) Lots to discuss. My sweet honey cake, I understand your code perfectly. We should talk about the wedding before we kiss. That is a more natural sequence. The smell of eternal love is in the air.

There was a smell in the air, but it was not love.

Natsumi: Ew. Are you cooking locker room sweat?

Fuyuki: Oh, no.

Something cam crawling out of the kitchen. Megatron chasing and blasting the thing with his fusion cannon.

Megatron: Everyone panic! The food is revolting! As in uprising, not as deceitful!

Natsumi, Fuyuki, and Starscream go out of it's way as it landed on Momoka's face.

Natsumi: What is that?

Fuyuki: Oh, man. Megatron, I told you to keep a lid on it, didn't I?

Megatron: Oh, did you mean literally? My, what comical misunderstandings we're having today.

Stascream: WOW! Is that a mixed aliens parasite Energon lovers space omelet? You know that's my favorite!

Megatron: A good sergeant must have two things. Blood lust and the ability to cook gourmet for his troops.

Starscream: I love you more than I'm allowed to say, sir!

Momoka: (grabs the omelet off her face) Get off me! (repeatedly stomps on the omelet) If anyone's swallowing my face, it's not going to be you!

She realized that they were staring at her. She quickly went back to her innocent self.

Natsumi: Not to be caddy, but I think your lady friend has some anger issues.

Fuyuki nervously laughed. The omelet continued to move, which it was Starscream's turn to snap. He fired at it with his Null-rays

Starscream: Why don't you know when to die?

After that, the whole hallway was messy.

Natsumi: Look at this mess. So you realize who's gonna have to clean that up, don't you? (looks at Megatron sinisterly)

Megatron: Uh, oh! Private Starscream!

Starscream: Yo.

Megatron: (grabs Starscream and shakes him) Be more careful! You have no idea what this she-beast is capable of when she's mad!

Natsumi: I'm not mad. I just mean if you don't clean it, I'll kill you.

Megatron: (salutes her) Sir, than you, sir! (grabs a dizzy Starscream) We'll leave now. (they take off to the basement)

Fuyuki: Hey, you want to see my room real fast?

Momoka: Oh, Lord, yes!

In Megatron's room, him and Starscream get down to business.

Megatron: We shall began the meeting in the customary way, Private Starscream.

Starscream: Oh, can we?

Megatron: Mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega.

Starscream: Star-star-star-star-star-star-star-star-star-star-star-star-star-star-star-star-star-star-star-star.

Narrator: Wait, what?

The Ghost Girl just stared at them.

Megatron: You were a little flat at the end, but now that we followed protocol, let's talk about our progress.

Starscream: What's yours, sir?

Megatron: There are five, harden Decepticons in this platoon. The other three must be close by and we shall soon find them.

Starscream: And with our combined powers, world domination should be a synch. Ha, ha.

Megatron: Obviously, but as your commander, I've altered the plan.

Starscream: Huh?

Megatron: While I'm sure other Pekoponians are vial fiends who deserve conquering. The five we have met saved our hides and we owe them big. So we must protect them from all injury and when we take their world, we'll make them house slaves and give them cute names.

Starscream: Sir, yes, sir! You're the best, Megatron. Bold, compassionate, plus you're witty and fun! And we've got a great taste in cartoons.

Megatron: Yes, yes. That's quite true. So now that we have our long term plans for victory. Let's get back to making sure I don't go offline.

Starscream: Huh?

Megatron: (cleaning the mess) Natsumi can be very violent. Look at these stains. Space omelets are not good party food.

Starscream: I'm confused. Megatron, why don't you have their maids clean up for you? I make messes all the time and I never have to clean it up.

Megatron: A maid? Momoka has a maid?

Starscream: Tons of them. I break stuff just to see them run around. So does your family keep their maids in this cottage or in their actual mansion?

Megatron: (quietly) Starscream, exactly what kind of life have you been living here?

Starscream: Oh, the regular Pekoponian life, I guess. I lay around all day ordering service to bring me whatever oils I want. My only real problem is choosing which luxury golf cart to drive into the TV room. Since I have a lot of oil I backfire a lot. Plus I have so many Gundam toys, I can't play with them all. Uh, Megatron, what's wrong? You look like you're about to blow an engine block.

Narrator: Starscream; winner! Megatron; loser! (notices something in the pot) What's in that plant? Are we _planting _a future threat?

Fuyuki: The meeting is now in session. As cohabiters with an alien race. I think we have a on of a kind opportunity here.

Momoka: (thinking) I can't believe I'm alone with him in his house. Now I can make him realized how much he loves me. The gift, stupid! Give him the gift so you can have your kiss! (talking) The kiss!

Fuyuki: What?

Momoka: (quietly) No, wait. I still don't think I've practiced enough. (air kissing)

Natsumi: Hey, freaks want so tea?

She places two cups of tea on the coffee table. Momoka grabs on and began air kissing the cup.

Natsumi: Um, are you like air kissing?

Momoka: Just cooling my tea.

She blew on her tea then drank her still hot tea in one gulp.

Fuyuki: So, yeah. What was I saying again? Oh, right. Living with robotic aliens. I think we need ground rules for safety. Like not bringing them to school.

Momoka: I... I have... I have... I have this... I... sack.

Starscream jumped on Momoka's face.

Starscream: Hi!

Natsumi: Are you already done cleaning? That was some serious space goo.

Megatron: Oil, parting, Gundam toys, but I'm the ranking officer. I infiltrated the wrong house.

Natsumi: Huh?

Fuyuki: Uh, Megatron, why are you pouting?

Momoka: (thinking) And why are you crushing my love feast?

Starscream saw the fast food bag and took it.

Starscream: You can't be sad. We've got presents!

He takes the burgers and fries out of the bag and placed it on the table.

Fuyuki: Whoa! Cold hamburgers from McDonald's. Momoka, you're awesome.

Momoka: Oh, it's nothing. I was going to put my heart in there too, but I realized I'd die. It's just a metaphor. I mean friends! For friendship! 'Cause we're friends. Anyway I brought these from my family's store.

Natsumi: Family store? You mean like your parents are managers or something?

Starscream: Oh, no. She's just talking about the McDonald's inside our house. Don't be silly. It's just right next to the toy store, the bakery, and the gas station with the lottery tickets where you always win. What kind of stores does your house have? Because I think ours needs a Jamba Juice.

Fuyuki: That's not true. Is it?

Natsumi: No. You'd have to be the daughter of a bazillionaire.

Momoka: Oh, that's not important. (continues air kissing)

Starscream places two medium-sized cans of oil on the table. Then pulled Megatron by the table.

Starscream: Try a burger, sir. Dip it in oil and trust me, the microwave pickles is gonna blow your processor.

Megatron: (picks up a burger) Smells like food, but feels like paper. How does paper taste good by dipping it in oil?

Natsumi: Take it out of the wrapper, malfunction. (she unwraps a burger, dips it in the oil, then shoved it in Megatron's mouth) Here.

Megatron: Cow flesh! So good, oily, and slimy. I never thought cow flesh and #6 oil would taste so good! Ever!

Starscream: With onions!

Megatron: (picks up a fry) What are these sticks of gold? (dips the fry in the oil and bites it) So salty and soggy! It taste like heaven. Like bathing in pig oil!

Fuyuki: You know we're trying to have a meeting here?

Natsumi: (picks up Megatron and Starscream) Okay, 'Cons. I think we need you to have your craziness somewhere else. (takes them away)

Momoka: (thinking) That food was to show that I loved him, but they killed the mood. I just need to confess my feelings. Tell him now! (talking) Now!

Fuyuki: Hm?

Momoka: (thinking) Stop air kissing and say something! (talking) So I think that flying saucers really exist, do you?

Fuyuki: Um, I kinda think that's not in for debat any more.

Pointing behind her. Indicating Megatron and Starscream flying in their vehicle modes.

Momoka: Yeah. Good point. That's not what I meant to say. What I meant to say... that... that I... (Megaton and Starscream began cooking on the table) I like home cooking and giant walks. What?

NatsumI: Stop budding in. (carries the two away)

Momoka: Um, no. I don't love walks. I mean I don't hate walks either. I guess if I have to label myself I'd say I'm walk neutral. I have no idea why I'm talking about that now. I really love slinkies! I didn't mean to say that either! (thinking) What am I talking about? Why can't I stop? I can't kiss him. I can't confess my feelings. All I can to is talk about nonsense. He hates me. He hates me. (talking) Please don't hate me.

She notices a blob of the omelet crawling behind Fuyuki. Right as soon it was about to attack him...

Momoka: Fuyuki! Look out! (punches the omelet three times and it died) Oh, my gosh, I just saved you.

Fuyuki: Yeah, I guess you're good to have around.

Momoka: Oh, sorry for babbling. Huh? (thinking) 'Good to have around'? He said I'm good to have around! He really does want to marry me.

Starscream: Wow! You are crazy. It's obvious you like him, but you can't say it. It's so cute.

Megatron: Yeah, you must have fallen on your head a lot (mocking Momoka's babbling)

She gave them two the beat down of their processing lives. Later, when Momoka and Starscream were leaving. Starscream and Megatron had dents, exposed wires and sparks.

Starscream: I had fun, Megatron. Next time you should come to our house.

Megatron: It's a plan, Starscream. Just as soon as I can function my face again.

Momoka: Good-bye. (bows and walks away)

Fuyuki: Okay. You know, something tells me that meeting didn't run very high on the productivity scale.

Natsumi: Nope.

Narrator: Well, maybe not for human/alien relations, but for Fuyuki/Momoka relations, I'd say it was productive indeed

RedGyarados3: Are you even reading the same story, Narrator?


	5. Bot on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

**Sgt. Decepticon**

Robot on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

* * *

><p>Narrator: Ah, Spring. Birds are chirping, flowers are blooming, and the foulest funk is amercing from the Hinata basement.<p>

Fuyuki: Ugh.

Natsumi: Ugh, that is one foul funk.

Fuyuki: Smells like something died down there. (looking at the basement entrance)

Natsumi: Something better have died and if not something's going to! (she enters Megatron's room) Hey, you! Robot! (gasps at the sight of Megatron laying on the floor)

Fuyuki: (enters room) Oh, no.

Megatron: I am so depressed. Not even a bouncing title music could cheer me up.

Natsumi: What's wrong with the robotard?

Fuyuki: I don't know.

Starscream: Oh, dear Unicron!

Natsumi and Fuyuki looked down and saw Starscream.

Fuyuki: Starscream?

Starscream: We have to do something! Megatron is suffering from what doctors on our planet call a "nervous breakdown"! Trademark Cybertron.

Natsumi and Fuyuki: Yeah, okay, but what's that smell?

Starscream: It's a defense mechanism to ward off Scraplets to keep you alive when you fell like doing is curling up and rusting to pieces.

Megatron: (moaning) So depressed.

Natsumi: Oh, come on. Now that's just crazy.

Fuyuki: I don't know. Humans stop bathing when they're depressed.

Megatron got up and ran towards them

Megatron: How can you just stand there while I'm dying inside? For a weak and vulnerable race, you sure are insinuative! (leaking "tears") Too keep my secret from the other Pekoponians, I've been trapped inside this house like a prisoner. With my boredom and stink line to keep me company!

Fuyuki: I can kinda relate. I mean that was most of fifth grade was like for me. I ddin't really have that many friends for me.

Natsumi: Uh, you say that like it's a past tense thing or a fact that's suppose to shock us somehow. Anyway, I don't know what the 'Con is whining about. Aside from a few chores seems more like he's living in dweeb heaven than prison. All he does is build dork models, surf the internet, read geek comics, eat, and sleep.

Megatron: AH! I can't take it anymore! I'm suffocating. I have to get out of here. I've gotta bust out of here! goes up to Fuyuki) Please, pathetic Pekoponian meat puppet, have mercy on me.

Natsumi: You know you can go out anytime you want.

Megatron: Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?

Natsumi: It's a free planet here. And hey, who knows what fun you can have if you're spotted.

Narrator: Robot dismantlement! (Megatron laying on a auot-shop table) Robot fight club! (Megatron in a boxing ring facing a robot three times his size) Robot in Natsumi's way! (Natsumi running Megatron over with her bike)

Megatron: NNNOOOOOOOOOO! (grinds his fingers on the wall)

Fuyuki: Not nice. You just hypothetically ran him over.

Starscream: It's a shame. The real tragedy of it is he's living with a family as poor as you. Because at the Poletio Compound Nishizawa, I can ride bikes, pop wheelies, and do doughnuts in their huge yard. Or go shopping in Momoka's private mall, it's five stories high! Or catch some latest film in the state-of the-art stadium seating. I'd do anything for Sgt. Megatron, if only there was something I could do. Well, that didn't involve sharing all that stuff with him. I mean he's tottaly that guy who talks through the movie and I also don't want to wait at Dip-N-Dots.

RedGyarados3: Megatron - loser, Starscream - winner!

Megatron goes to a corner of the room.

Megatron: It's okay. Who needs big budget CGI spectaculars when you've got bubble wrap. (popping bubble wrap) Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop.

Natsumi: Sorry our mom's not a bazillionaire.

Fuyuki: Megatron, I've got an idea. How would you like to go outside with me?

Natsumi: Huh?

Megatron: How'd I like to!

Starscream: Yah! It all worked out and I gave up nothing!

Natsumi: (shrugging her brother) You sure?

Fuyuki leaves the house with Megatron in his backpack.

Fuyuki: We're off!

As Fuyuki was in thepark, Megatron was cheering with glee.

Megatron: Freedom! Spring, birds are chirping, flowers blooming, and the smell of backpack lint fill the air.

When Fuyuki stopped to take his breath, Megatron popped his head out.

Megatron: This is not what I had in mind!

Fuyuki shoves him back in the pack.

Fuyuki: We can't let anybody see you! You'll get dismantled.

Megatron began to generate the stink lines again. Yayoi and Satsuki were walking by and noticed.

Yayoi: Are those stink lines?

Satsuki: Isn't every line stink in this story?

Fuyuki: Okay, you made you're point.

They returned back to the hose.

Megatron: That's worse than being trapped in your house! And how do you get your pencils so sharp?

Fuyuki: I use my teeth.

Natsumi: We can't risk people finding out about you. It would cause worldwide hysteria. Worse, it would reek havoc on my social life if my friends know I knew you.

Megatron: Ah-hah! I always knew you were an alienist!

Fuyuki: Well, she may not be super-tactful, but she is right about us keeping you hidden.

Megatron got so depressed that he started to grind his fingers on the wall.

Narrator: Do robots have fingernails?

Starscream: (looking at Megatron) If there was only a way to keep you hidden in plain sight, without using you Cybertronian vehicle mode. Ah! Idea!

Narrator: (sarcastic) Great, more robot jokes.

Outside of the Hinata household, was a watermelon laying in the front yard.

Narrator: Many watermelons have a small purple Decepticon symbols on them.

Megatron: (whispering) Disguising myself as a common garden fruit was a brilliant idea. Now I can walk outside wherever I want without causing global panic of Natsumi's humiliation, and Pekoponians are so clueless. They can walk pass me without... wait... fruits don't walk!

Megatron stormed back to Fuyuki's room and removed the watermelon make-up.

Megatron: How come no one told me that inanimate objects, while cheap to animate, are totally boring to be?!

Fuyuki: Too bad you can't just scan a human and transform into one. Now you scanning an insect, maybe.

Megatron: How much panic would a 3-foot Insection cause?!

Starscream: Should I bring out the Apex Armor now?

Fuyuki: Huh?

Starscream: It's a a fully mobile suit that and have the user blend in into whatever society the user wants.

Fuyuki: Gulp.

Megatron: Oh, forgot about that.

Narrator: Well, that's convenient.

Megatron activated the Apex Armor and had the suit transform into a Gundam.

Megatron: Ready to preform Pekoponian interlock.

Fuyuki: Wrong show and you don't look remotely human.

Megatron: Huh? Are you sure?

Starscream: Okay. Sorry, guys. That was my bad. (runs at the back of the Armor and imputed a new disguise) But check this, even the most smartest Pekoponian will think they're looking at a mirror.

At that moment, Natsumi was walking by down the hall and gasped. She saw Megatron's face, but his body was rearranged into a high school girl

Megatron: Why do my legs feel funny?

Natsumi: You better not be stretching out my knee highs.

Fuyuki: I'm feeling some very confused feelings.

Narrator: A sumo wrestler mode would be spacious, but horrible milage.

Fuyuki: No, thanks. Next.

Starscream: Boo. What do you know about Pekoponians anyways. (goes at the back of the Armor and imputed a new disguise) The disguise mode is no fun, but it should do an effect.

The Apex Armor transformed into a human business suit.

Megatron: Whoa! It's a suit suit.

Fuyuki: By far the least offensive.

Megatron put on the 'suit' Armor and made his way to the front door.

Megatron: Got to get in early and make a good impression. I'm thinking about asking the boss for a raise. What with expenditure, profits, and such.

Megatron took only one step outside when Fuyuki grabbed him. He pulled him back into the house.

Fuyuki: You can go out like that! Your face

Megatron: I don't look like a Pekoponian?

Starscream: I'm looking at him and I'm not seeing the difference. Oh, but if the face is what's the problem. I'll use every last trick I learned in Hollywood as an Oscar-winning make-up artist!

Megatron: Oh, wow. I didn't even know you were nominated.

Fuyuki: You did not win an Oscar.

Narrator: This ought to be good. The following scene maybe highly offensive to North American machines.

Megatron emerged from the house with his face looking like an assembly arm from a US car factory.

Megatron: I'm just an old-model assembly arm. (makes robot beeps, Fuyuki goes after him and carries him back to the house) Oh, look. Me flyin'.

After Fuyuki explained why Megatron should go out, Megs and Screamer lost it.

Megatron: How could anyone find this face stupid?!

Starscream: A masterpiece like this should be shared with the world! Not like some preschooler's clay ashtray!

Fuyuki: No one would buy him as an Earth robot!

Starscream: First he looks too much like a robot, then he doesn't look enough like one. You're harder to please than Fincher!

Fuyuki: I'm sorry. I really wish there was something I could do. I feel like I failed you again.

Megatron: I won't forget this, Fuyuki. When we conquer you're planet, you'd be the last Pekoponian we would enslave.

Fuyuki: Awesome! Now please, take that creepy crud off!

Starscream: Fine! I have no choice, but to unleash... (pulls something out) the Cybertronian Insecticon!

Narrator: Ugh, they are doing more takes than David Fincher.

The Insecticon leached onto Megatron's head and began to rink his Energon.

Megatron: (weakily) Flowers... so pretty!

Starscream: Unlike the massive Insecticon that would rip you to shreds, the smaller units bit into your nerual-network and and creates realistic hallucinations.

Fuyuki: That sounds kinda dangerous.

Starscream: Oh, it is. The mind Insecticon causes permanent brain damage, random suicide, Energon drain.

Fuyuki: Don't you like we should remove the scary, space bug off him?!

Later that evening...

Megatron: So that's it then. I'll never bust out.

Fuyuki: Sorry.

Megatron: This prison here. These dry, dry walled walls will be the last thing I see before I'm offline. No robot pun intended.

Natsumi: Boo-hoo. Cry me a cake. You should be eternally grateful that you even have walls and a roof and central air, but if you really hate it her so much, why don't you just leave and never come back. (goes to her room)

Megatron: How can she be so cruel? She knows I can't live anywhere else!

Suddenly a bag of McDonald's and can of oil. Then Starscream appeared out of nowhere.

Starscream: That was not cool. Nobody talks to Megs like that.

Fuyuki: Hey! Where didd you come from, Starscream?

Starscream: I got hungry and Momoka has a McDonald's in her mansion. Actually two.

Starscream dipped the burger and fries in the oil and ate it.

Fuyuki: Huh, you know, how do you go back and forth between here and there anyways?

Starscream: Oh, the cloak protocol.

Fuyuki: "Cloak"? You mean invisibility?

Megatron: Say what now?

Starscream: If I push the Decepticon symbol on my left wing, I make a fashion statement and go invisible. Like so.

Starscream presses the symbol on on his left wing and he disappeared. Megatron and Fuyuki gasped. A fry was lifted into the air and then it was dipped into the can of oil and it disappeared. Starscream then reappeared, chewing the fry. Then he reappeared.

Fuyuki: Couldn't thought of that before?

Starscream: Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed that Megatron knew about it.

Megatron: (thinking) I skip one or even three hundred orbital-cycles of Cybertronian technology and you miss so much.

Fuyuki: Megatron, this is good news, isn't it? Now you can leave home without getting dismantled and if Natsumi runs you over, it'll probably be an accident.

Megatron: I'm free to go outside and conquer the planet! Plus I can sneak into movies for free! Okay, let's get my cloak on! (presses the Decepticon symbol on his chest and disappeared)

Starscream: And now with the upgrade you can be seen like a Facebook privacy setting.

Narrator: If this was a TV series, Megatron would probably let us view him, but since this is a story, only the character can probably see him and not you readers.

Natsumi: AAAHHHHHHH!

Fuyuki and Megatron rush to her room.

Natsumi: The rope tied my up all by itself. Is this because I used a double dutch?

Megatron: (thinking) At last, I get her back for tying me up. You know, not counting that time hung her from the ceiling and threatened her with the Scraplet. (jumps at Natsumi, now he talks) And now the glorious takeover for Pekopon begins, ha ha!

Suddenly the Decepticon symbol blinked and Megatron reappeared.

Natsumi: I should have known. Here, taste foot!

Natsumi plants her foot right in Megatron's face. Fuyuki and Starscream enter the room.

Fuyuki: Why did you scre...

Megatron collapse to the floor. His face was dented into the shape of Natsumi's foot.

Megatron: But how did you see me? Are you... are you a witch?

Starscream: The battery died. You have to charge it fully before the first use and make sure you use the right planetary converter.

Megatron: Why does everything on our technology have short battery life?

Narrator: Remember, kids; always check the batteries in your smoke detectors and cloaking devices.


	6. Who Watches the Watch-Pekoponians?

**Sgt. Decepticon**

Who Watches the Watch-Pekoponians?

Giroro - Shockwave

* * *

><p>Narrator: When the moon is in the 7th house and Jupiter aligns with Mars, then peace will guide the planets and love will steer the stars.<p>

Inside the Hinata house, Natsumi was spying on Megatron as he was doing his chores. Megatron was singing a catchy Japanese song.

Megatron: Aikotoba wa; Afro to gunsou. Afro. Afro. Gunsou. Gunsou. 3. 2. 1. Fire! Afro gunsou. Afro gunsou.

Megatron went from washing the dishes, to laundry, and to vacuuming.

Natsumi: (thinking) Singing, cleaning, being polite. I don't like this. He's up to something and now that he's got that cloaking thingy, we can't keep an eye on him anymore.

The next day, Megatron ran down the stairs happily. With a toy model box in his hands.

Megatron: OMG! Natsumi got me a brand new model kit! She's up to something, but I don't even care! A Gwazine Class Battleship! The most powerful ship in the one-stellar cycle war! I'll call it the Greatus Deadwing! (goes to his room in the basement) It'll make my Magellan look like a Salamis.

Natsumi followed him.

Natsumi: I got no clue what he's talking about and feel sorry for anyone who does, but the guy at the store said it'd keep a nerd in his room forever.

She then rounded up the rest of the family for a meeting in the living room.

Fuyuki: So at the behalf of Ambassador Natsumi, the angora meeting of the United Hinata Security Council is officially in session.

Natsumi raises her hand.

Fuyuki: The Chair recognizes Ambassador Natsumi.

Natsumi: It's the 'Con! He's definitely planning something! He used fabric softener and dryer sheet!

Aki: Really? Do you think it's destruction on an epic scale?

Fuyuki: I think your leaping into conclusions. Maybe he just thinks we deserve cloths as soft as a baby's-

Natsumi: Don't do that! You're always making excuses! Wake up, Fuyuki! Those robots in disguise came to take over the earth and that's exactly what they're doing.

Fuyuki: Their mother-ship abandon them, remember? They're like E.T. All they want is Reese's Pieces dipped in oil and a way home.

Natsumi: What if they staged that cult to lure us into a false sense of security! While the rest of their alien army gets ready to invade earth!

Fuyuki: You're just paranoid!

Natsumi: You know I'm right, Mom!

Aki: Well on the one hand, what you're saying is absolutely crazy. On the other hand, crazy makes comic books.

Fuyuki: You really have a one-track mind, huh?

Natsumi: Focus, Mom. Okay, we're gonna need to set up surveillance to keep tabs on them when we're not here.

Aki: (gasps) Brilliant idea! We can study on how they behave when they think no one is watching.

Fuyuki: You want to spy?

Natsumi & Aki: It's not spying if you do it for the good of humanity.

Natsumi: Those alien punks could be planning an attack right now. Just think, what would Jack Bauer do?

Aki: We can flush out all those colorful details that really fill a character in.

Fuyuki: But-

Natsumi: Two against one says we spy. If you got a problem, take it up with democracy.

Narrator: Curious...

RedGyaradoe3: By Britney Spears.

Aki: What mysterious secrets can we uncover and explore.

Narrator: Obsession...

RedGyarados3: By Calvin Klein.

Natsumi: I will find out what they're plotting and crush them like bugs!

Narrator: Remorse...

RedGyarados3: By Fuyuki Hinata.

Fuyuki: I really don't want to be a part of this.

Narrator: And so, the Hinata family installed hidden cameras in every room in the house. If only they knew we've been reading about them six chapters ago.

Natsumi and Fuyuki enter Megatron's room. Who was busy on the battleship model.

Natsumi: Hi. Don't let me bother you.

Megatron: Can't talk, must focus, spray paint, fumes, making dizzy, me likey!

While Megatron was on it with the spray paint fumes, Fuyuki switches one of the models with one that had a hidden camera. They hurry back to Natsumi's room. Where they watched Megatron on Natsumi's computer.

Fuyuki: I feel like Luscious Fox. This is why he left Bruce Wayne.

Natsumi: It's also how the Bat-dude caught the creepy guy in the make-up.

Fuyuki: The Joker! Don't pretend like you don't know their names! You saw the Dark Knight three time!

Natsumi: Hey, I cannot help it if Christian Bale is scorchingly hot.

Narrator: Later that night, night turned into day.

Aki: We'll see you later, Megatron. Much, much later.

Natsumi: Feel free to have Starscream come over and chat.

Fuyuki: I'm sorry to leave you.

Megatron: It's cool. I hope each and everyone of you has a fruitful and productive day at work/school. (the family leaves and locks the door) He, he, he. Sheesh. I thought they'd never leave. Maybe now I can finally start getting down to business. Ha, ha, ha. (backfires) Oop! Glad no one was here to hear that.

Turns out the whole family was outside. Watching him from Aki's laptop.

Aki: What a hilarious opening for my movie.

Natsumi: He is so guilty.

Fuyuki: Wait! What movie?

Aki: Um, all good comics need a movie franchise.

Natsumi: So you're just gonna be watching him all day?

Aki: I wish, but we're totally swamped at work right now. It'll have to wait until I get home tonight.

Natsumi: Fine.

As the family went on their way on the roof stood a one-eyed robot, in cloak mode, was watching them. He followed Aki to work.

Shockwave: 0900. Publishing company.

Aki was view an artist's work.

Aki: Sorry, but this isn't just working for me. It feels derivative. You should find inspiration from something in your own life. Like say if there's an alien robot in your basement.

Shockwave: Hinata, Aki. Age: Undetermined. Specialty: Reader of drawings and possible code analyst. Also commander of the Hinata Squadron. Her intelligence and leadership skills mark her as a possible hurtle. I must keep an eye on her.

Aki had a a funny feeling she was being watched. When she looked at the window she saw a blurry image of a small jet, then it disappeared.

Aki: Do I need bigger glasses?

Shockwave: 1116. Institute of Learning.

Fuyuki was setting up his club. With Momoka being the newest member.

Fuyuki: Alright. Time to begin the second meeting of the Paranormal Club and our first meeting with more than one member. Let's all give a warm welcome to our newest member, Momoka Nishizawa.

Momoka: (thinking) He said my name! It sounds so musical coming out from his lips.

Outside, Shockewave, in a Cybertronian interceptor mode, was watching.

Shockwave: Hinata, Fuyuki. Age: 12. Specialty: Technology expert. Average academics and physical stature, except in those few areas when he shows intense interests. As the lone male in the Hinata Squadron, his low altitude of violence provides a strong opening for attack.

Shockwave flew away, just as Fuyuki had a feeling he was being watched. He went to the window.

Momoka: Uh, Fuyuki, I'm over here.

Meanwhile at the track and field area. Natsumi was playing baseball in P.E.

Satsuki: Come on, Natsumi!

Yayoi: Yeah, whack that ball good!

Shockwave: Hinata, Natsumi. Age: 13. Specialty: Violence and violence related activities. Acceptational in both physical and academic stature. Her hostile nature combined with her overall athleticism pose a huge threat. One which will require close and considerable observation.

After P.E. Natsumi was taking a shower in the locker room. However she was at the shower right next to a window. Which Shockwave was watching her from an angle.

Satsuki: Need anything, Natsumi? Shampoo? Luffa?

Natsumi: Still no, but thank you, though.

Shockwave began to feel a lustful felling growing inside him. Natsumi felt she was being watched from outside, so she instinctively threw her soap bar out the window. Right at Shockwave

Shockwave: How can she-

The soap bar knocked a piece off of him.

Shockwave: I've been hit! Fall back!

She looks out the window and sees a camera on the ground.

Natsumi: It's gotta be... You're dead, robot!

When the family returned home, they went to get Megatron.

Natsumi: Get out here, you little perv.

She grabs Megatron by the head and took him to her room. Where the rest of the family was waiting.

Megatron: What are you doing? I am not a toy in one of those claw machines. Put me down, now!

Natsumi: Don't bother denying anything. We've got solid proof that you're up to no good.

She plants Megatron on a chair.

Fuyuki: Hold the phone. We don't know what solid proof we have just yet.

Aki: Fuyuki's right. Before we throw out allegations, we should watch the movie.

Megatron: Oh, Breakfast Club?

Natsumi: Hit it, bro.

Fuyuki then played the videos on the computer. The video was showing Megatron saying goodbye to the family and walking to the living room.

Megatron: Hey, that's me! How... how could you? After all I've done! If I knew I was going to be on camera, I would've called Starscream to do my make-up.

Natsumi: Not that fun being spied on. Fast-forward, now.

Fuyuki fast-forward the video. Megatron was doing nothing but chores.

Fuyuki: Megatron is really getting thoughs tough stains out.

Aki: It is inspirational, but kinda lacks conflict. I bet we can add scheming and post.

Megatron: See?! All I do is slave away with your stupid chores!

Natsumi: It's only lunch. (video shows Megatron eating rice and curry covered in motor oil) There's still plenty of time for you to plot world domination and peep on me in the showers.

The video shows Megatron clean up the dishes and him going to his room. Before entering he let out a chuckle. The family looks closer to see what he's gonna do next.

Natsumi: Reading geek comics, surfing the internerd, building dork models?

Megatron: I know. I fit every stereotype you have of me.

Aki: This is really pretty boring, isn't it?

Fuyuki: Actually, I'm kinda jealous of him.

Natsumi: Keep watching. He's gotta have something up his metallic sleeve.

The video showed Megatron sneaking into the kitchen while carrying small can of oil.

Megatron: AAAHHHH! (covers the screen) Okay, I did whatever you think I did! Just stop the tape!

Natsumi: (whacks Megatron out of the way) Finally! We get to something good!

Aki: I hope it's something juicy and depraved!

All: Huh?

The video showed Megatron pouring a beef and chicken ramen together in the can of oil. He got a pair of chopsticks and began to eat it.

Narrator: I can't look!

Megatron: I swear, I never done it before. I just had to try it once. I couldn't choose between cow and bird, so I had both. (covers himself) Don't look at me! I'm a monster! (looks at the family) Huh? You're not throwing up?

The video showed Megatron taking a power-down nap in his stasis pod. Then Natsumi comes in Megatron's room and shuts the pod down. When he rebooted and woke up, she grabbed him and dragged him to her room, which lead to where they are now.

Fuyuki: See. Megatron didn't leave the house all day. It's an airtight alibi.

Natsumi: Then who could have been spying on me?

Aki: Actually, you know this morning I had the strangest feeling I was being watched as well.

Fuyuki: Yeah, me three. Hey! At the very least, we know that Megatron is innocent.

Megatron: Hey, that's a good point.

Aki: Will you forgive us, please?

Megatron: Yeah, it's cool.

Fuyuki: Natsumi.

Natsumi: Huh? Fine. I'm sorry I accused you.

Megatron: Yeeaaaah! (holding a sign in Japanese that translates "Not Guilty")

Later that evening, the Hinata family gave Megatron a lovely dinner with premium #6 motor oil.

Megatron: Oh, wow. Look at this spread. All of my favorite animals that I like to dip in motor oil just for me.

Fuyuki: I hope you can trust us.

Aki: We mixed the beef and chicken ramen again in the oil so you can enjoy one more time.

Natsumi: (cooking stir-fry) I hope he chokes on it. Malfunction Decepticreep.

Narrator: Can Decepticons choke?

Megatron: Hmm. Yummy. I wonder what this animal use to be. Nice to meet you Mr. Shrimp. By the AllSpark I love seafood!

The next day when the family went to school and work, Starscream came by to Megatron visit. told him everything what happened the other day.

Starscream: They video taped everything you did? Did they see you leaking lubricant?

Megatron: Nah, they didn't put a camera in the backyard. You know, the cameras maybe gone, but the hurt still lingers. (they go to Megatron's room to watch TV) I started thinking: Maybe the two of us should blow up this house. You know, just to get back at them for thinking I might blow up this house.

Starscream: Makes sense to me. Oh! Robotech's on!

Megatron: Yea, cartoons (Sits in front of the TV) Private Starscream, man the remote.

Starscream: Aye, aye, sir!

Megatron: Yeah, we can just blow up the house after the show's over.

Starscream got the remote from the couch and pressed the power button. Instead of the TV turning on, it blew up on Megatron's face. He fell back, powered-down.

Starscream: AHH! What have I done?

Shockwave: Hah, I've been doing some recon, "Sergeant". Scoping out your situation. I should have known you'd go and get yourself taken prisoner be the Pekoponians. (emerges from the busted TV)

Starscream: How... how could you?!

Narrator: Now that's what I call a breakout TV star exploding on the scene, but who is this mysterious Decepticon? I'll tell you he is since i asked. He's Corporal Shockwave. The ARMPIT platoon's hot-metal headed weapons expert.

Shockwave: What did you say?!

RedGyarados3: It was the narrator, not me!

Narrator: Please don't shoot me. I'm allergic to bullets and pain.


End file.
